No offence, Erika...
but yeah... no one's here... everyone is with their boys...
Bridget's home
Jen's home
Erika's w/ her aunt aunt and uncle...(no boy for her, so i'm not completely alone...)
Sara's w/ Todd...
Tylor's w/ Jeff( i think that's his name)...
Patti's fucking her boyfriend next door...*patti has a diary here!! I'm not the only one that i know!! hehe ^_^
And i'm here.
Maybe i'll play my game... i can't get the pegasus cup from Hercules... damn bastard, i keep dying.
Or i'll read this confusing book i bought.. but it's interesting, just confusing.
Never read anything like it before tho... The Broken Crown by Michelle West. Very good... hell taking over... cool cool ^_^ hehe
Me and my sadistic thinking...
What to do w/ myself...
What to do...
Nothing.
Bleh.
Oh yeah... this guy that Erika (quad mate) is trying to hook me up w/ over the internet (i'm not one who like the internet relationships type deal)(not my thing). But he's cool and he hasn't had a grl-friend yet... or at least that's what i gathered... but here's some of the convo...
First, he likes to role play w/ me... but nothing like actual chara's and everything.. he just likes to *poke* me. so he poked me until i died of natural causes and her's the convo that follows...
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: AAAHHH!
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: =( not fair
Diablodt: hehehe
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: ;pppp
Diablodt:
Diablodt: you no fun =P
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: you're no fun either... poking me to death
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: ;ppp
Diablodt: I didn't poke you to death
Diablodt: I said I poked you until you die... of natural causes
Diablodt: my poking wasn't a casue of death
Diablodt: it was a cause of great annoyance for the 80 more years you spend on earth
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: well still..until i die... that could cause my death of natural causes
Diablodt: no, if my poking casued your death it would be unnatural
Diablodt:
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: aww thanky
Diablodt:
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: but i don't need a hot guy to kiss it
Diablodt: ohh yeah well why not?
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: cuz not being "hot" isn't everything
Diablodt:
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: i know it'll be ok ^_^
Diablodt: lol
Diablodt:
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: to tell you the truth i haven't had a crush on a guy in a while
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: i always talk myself out of it
Diablodt: wow interesting
Diablodt: defense mechanism or you just do it naturally?
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: defense
Diablodt: well whoever it was I'm sorry
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: you don't have to be sorry... why are you sorry?
Diablodt: well, for some reason I just assumed some idiot boy did something to hurt you after you said it was a defense mechanism
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: i've never had a boy friend to hurt me
Diablodt: a male does not have to be a boyfriend to hurt, hence why I did that
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: guys can hurt too from relationships... my bro took 3 yrs to recover from his first
Diablodt: ohh yes I know they can
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: hehe, you should know, everyone knows
Diablodt: I am just very used to dealing with emotionally scarred girls
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: so am i.... God, i give advise all the time... and i have no fucking idea of how they feel
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: i can't relate
Diablodt: yeah I went though a few years when I was a close personal confidnat of a girl I was madley in love with, that was damn funny lol
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: maybe funny now... but i bet it wasn't then
Diablodt: ohh sure as hell wasn't funny then lol
Diablodt: but now it's damn humurous
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: i think the reason i go into defense is cuz... i've always been teased... and i associate teasing w/ the way you look and your personality... i would never change the way i was for ppl, and i think that's what pissed 'em off, and provoked ppl to tease me. That's why i'm defensive, i just think, "why would they ever like me?"
Diablodt: yeah I was teased constantly too, I was always a dreamer though
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: a dreamer in what way?
Diablodt: every way lol
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: not sure i understand
Diablodt: I just have the type of personality that will just sit on the side stare off into the distance and just imagine things
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: lol, oooh! ok, now i understand... yes day dreaming ^_^ do that to many times a day to count
*shrugs* the things you can get out of me online.. heh.
Patti just told me don't have sex... it complicates thing.
Absolutly true.
And at this rate, i doubt i will ever have it, considering how much shit comes w/ it... but then you gotta look on the bright side.
What bright side? So you fuck, either mary or break up w/ the basturd (or women in your case, Erika)... and then what?
I dunno. But for a grl who litterally RUNS from the sight of porn, do you really think i could w/ stand sex?
Or really stand a man in my life?
I was taught to be polite, be in the background, don't show your sexual ambitions. I'm the Lady.. pfft. God damn Manor School.
why am i one of the only grls taught that shit?
Everywhere i go, sexual ideas are shoved down our society's throat. and everywhere i go, grls are living up to that sexual ideal.
Me, i hide in the background very well... it's just what i do. I can't speak my mind... i get too scared i'll offend someone.
I'm afraid of every person i meet. Just because i already make up my mind that they don't like me cuz i'm being judged by society... and in turn i judge society back.
Fucked up system i think.
But that's life, eh?
Even that's a poor excuse...
CheZ