I know i'm not doing well right now, but it's scarey to think of what might happen in our first meeting.
I know he's just going to try to feel me out. I'm just hyper aware right now. I need something to calm me.
My mother said, "Tomorrow might be a tough day."
"Not too sure it can get any worse."
We had a good talk tho. She thought the whole day of who or what could have been the starting factor. Like how she and my dad raised me, my incident when i was 6, or just the way i think and how i've grown up.
3 possiblities.
1, for sure has been a problem in the past and now. Even if it did happen when i was 6. I remember everything. I don't remember how he looks anymore. But i remember the actions made.
Anyways, i'm going, it's done. I was nervous there. I'm going to have to bring something tomorrow for my hands to play w/. I always have something in my hand... maybe playing w/ my rings will suffice.
It's weird in the dorm w/ silence. Not comforting.
I'm off to go cram images into my head. Art history can bite me.
chez