I've cleaned, I've watche movies, and I've surfed the web... all of it in countless hours.
With in two days!
Just two days. I can't take not having a place to go other than my room.
There's nothing to do but let my mind wonder and explore areas that I don't want to confront.
Last night was horrible.
All I thought about Dave. All the thoughts lead to breaking up w/ him, but then it got complicated, like how was I going to do it?
My biggest concern right now is how am I going to convice him to do community service? I want to break up with him. The fucking basturd has been here a week and hasn't called or imed me.
I just feel so used. I regret everything about him now. In all actuality, I just want this to fade away. I want nothing to do with him.
Even if I just let it fade away, I'm still attached. No offical, "We're done."
I need it cut off.
He posted pictures of Israel the other night. I didn't find any incriminating evidence, like him making out w/ girls... but there were a lot of party pictures.
I don't get jeleous, but I was mad. Mad at the idea that, we're still "somthing" and I know no man has control.
Yes, this is all an assumption. Knowing him though... actually I really don't know him, but knowing his actions, something must have happened there.
He's the one that "wanting to gain my trust" to "work things out".
Bullshit.
Fucking basturd.
chez