I don't know exactly what it is, i know how it started, but other than that i don't know...
I might be losing the one person who brought me up in this world, who i thought i could confide in...
Now i think i've been proven wrong.
It's not fair to me, for you to think i'm childish. Half the shit that's happened this week, wasn't my fault.
I'm working hard. I'm trying to survive... and for you to give me a list of things that i've done wrong and call me childish isn't the way to go about it.
I turned to the last person i think i would have not turned to, just because i was so upset.
Everything was fine saturday. Until i walked into that damned art lab.
So many things have gone wrong. How am i to fix them?
Sorry isn't a word anymore, it's just a useless phrase i blurt out, because what the fuck else is there to do? to say?
I mean it. I wouldn't say it otherwise.
I'm sorry you're losing sleep.
Sorry, i'm you daughter.
Sorry, you think my boyfriend is a loser.
Sorry, you think less of me now for lossing my virginity.
Sorry, i'm not who you thought i was.
Sorry, for the genes you gave me.
Sorry, for being here to make you life worse.
If i could go back into highschool and be the girl you knew, then i would.
There isn't a day or a time i wish i was back in that time, swimming, loving who i was, innocent, naive... but i was trapped then. Trapped by my only goal in life.
I've lost two major things this year... Swimming and my virginity. The virginity, in all actuality... i could fucking care less about. I don't regret it, so why the fuck should you?
Now you want me to lose you?
I lose you then who else am i to cry with?
You think dad can take my crying? He couldn't even take it today, but he made me stop. I think i actually strengthed our relationship with that One phone call, than any other talks i've ever had. Because he was treating me like a daughter, not something that's just there because he's lived w/ it.
I don't see why you are taking all of this into you. These are my problems. I'm dealing with it. You should take them for face value, say, "it's hers to deal with, " and move on.
And so, leave me with the mother that i knew and loved. Instead of a person that i see that hates me with the tone of her voice.
Because if you hate me, what's the point of being your daughter?
I am no daughter.
chez