I should actually be doing my work right now, but i need a break.
Today I had another break down. I got my days mixed up due to my ditzy-ness and overall pressure of the last few days.
Today is the 21st... I thought Saturday was supposed to be the 21st. The day my essay exams are due. But today is the 21st, my essays were due at 10am.
I fucking panicked.
The way it started was I went down to pay for my rent. Thrity-two hundred dollars later, I came up to start my online art hist lectures.
I went on the site and my Prof. uped the time for grading to 4pm. I saw this at 3:30.
Then I saw the date, the date i wrote on the check.
It all clicked in one fucking super nova of a explosion in my head.
It honestly felt like I had some kind a of bullet go straight into my head.
The scream that followed was part of the horrible aftermath that I realized what I had done.
Essays were due, I had no essays. Everything was completely mixed up. Everything that has happened to me in the last few days just broke me further.
I called my mother in an absolute panick. I scared my brother when he answered the phone, he thought something really bad had happened to me. To me my world ended.
"How can I Fail!"
"My GPA... Oh God, my grades..."
"I'm going to have to take the class over."
Overall, I really shouldn't have reacted the way I did.
I honestly didn't know what day it was, I knew it was Friday. I just didn't know that the 21st was a Friday, today.
How I can be that fucked up... I don't know.
I've always been twitty under stress. I'm forgetful, I am a complete chicken with my head cut off.
But I never forget work. While I do things last minute, I have looked at them previously and have an understanding as to what I am going to do. This totally blindsided me.
I do have the ability to turn my essays in late.
I just am never Ever, taking two classes over mini mester again.
Everything is fine now. I think i just about have called my mother over 10 times today.
I have so much to do.
It needs to get done.
chez