One of my odd favorite smells.
I just don't want it on me.
I should be in bed right now, but i'm just, i don't know what exactly what's going through my head. Too many things, all of it nonsense.
I burned my eye lashes, eye brows, and hair today in raku.
Scarey moment. That's what started my downfall for the day. As soon as that happened, it felt like a rush of water submurged me.
I've been feeling that pressure all day.
I come home to more. My room mates are gone, but i'm left with a huge mess. Trash, dishes, bathroom, and vacuming.
They are all trivial, they all are daily chores, but ya know, it's their fucking mess.
I was in a studio all day. I didn't come home till 6pm. I walk in, and nothing's done.
I'm a messy person, but only in my room. I can't live with mess outside of it. It needs to be neat, clean... It's a trivial thing.
I'm just so tired. I need a break, little things are pissing me off.
I'm still "attached" to Dave. I think he's back. He was online but he didn't leave me a im or call me.
Avoidance of the envitable.
For once i'd like to be considered. Not the considerate.
Why am i not happy among all this?
God, i was happy, just rakuing... just making art. Nothing else was in my mind but that.
Complete oblivion. Just the object is the focus, only that. Everything else in the world is second to that.
And then it breaks.
I did break a piece today. My last firing of the day... and i fucking dropped it.
Yes, i got some better peices. The glaze on the best one was absolutly horrible. It wasn't art, it was shit.
I knew i should have put a different glaze on it. I'm having a love-hate relationship with my Flamespot glaze.
It has so many properties that it's hard to find the right temp, combustables, how long is should be in the combustables, what other glazes could be add, where my messurements for the mixture correct?
There's so many factors it's unbelievable. Ceramicists can spend months perfecting a glaze. All of it depends on four factors.
Chemicals, firing, compustables, and how you treat the compustables.
In three weeks that isn't enough time.
In the end, there is never enough time.
At least i have something to submit to the student show. I need exposure. Most of the teachers know my face.
Lets see how much of an impact i can make somewhere else.
chez