To me, i sound young... heh, and it hasn't even been 2 yrs. More like a lil over a yr.
Considering my thought process, it seemed like i'm bouncing off the wall. It was just a weird observation...
And all i really talked about was work and swimming... The two main issues of my life then.
God, i had no life... at one point i was so excited, all because i got a phone call from one of my friends.
No one called me, then... It was like, i didn't exist outside of school... And once summer came i'd be working and swimming so much, i didn't care about getting out. I looked at swimming as my "Out". Even tho i was basically at the pool from dawn till dusk.
I know i've sacrificed a lot... as far as my social skills go... but i was happy then, as long as i ignored my loneliness.
What about happiness now? Not too sure, still figuring that out... I still believe that the word has an empty meaning, but as far as my mood being lighter, me smiling, just enjoying company or enjoying myself alone...
I have this one art friend, Lindsey. Woah, she and i are on crack when we gang up together. I feed of her hyperness.
Munchkin181: oh sorry
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: sorry for what?
Munchkin181: i am having a much needed deep discussion right now
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: go for it
Munchkin181: lol
Munchkin181: oh no i mean with chuck
Munchkin181: lol
Munchkin181: oops
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: it's ok
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: what i ment when i said go for it, was to keep having the disscusion
Munchkin181: oh ok
Munchkin181: oh sorry i didn't know there was a cheer squad here
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: haha
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: don't let me hold ya back, man
Munchkin181: lol
Munchkin181: you're not don't worry
Munchkin181: girl
Munchkin181: what does it mean when your spine hurts sooooooo bad for days
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: not a good thing
Munchkin181: well uh
Munchkin181: i figured that
Munchkin181: lol
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: lol, i just stated the obvious
Munchkin181: yeah ms. smartass
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: hehe =)
Munchkin181: i think someone likes being a smartass
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: lol
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: it's nice to know i have a smart ass... i thought most were jack asses
Munchkin181: lol no it's smart it craps and pees
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: oh now we're getting into the technical stuff
Munchkin181: lol
Munchkin181: and did you know your ass sings?
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: lol!!!
Munchkin181: lol
Munchkin181: it makes music
Munchkin181: now its breath is surely kickin
Munchkin181: but you don't need to get that close to hear
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: such an imagination you have
Munchkin181: i'm an art student
Munchkin181: what do you expect?
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: exactly
Munchkin181: what do you want your money back
Munchkin181: lol
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: yes, i feel like i'm being cheated. you're not reaching your potential!
Munchkin181: dammit
Munchkin181: no refunds here
Munchkin181: you break it you bought it
Munchkin181: and it was already broken
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: well i wasn't the one that dropped you on your head. that was your manufactors.
Munchkin181: damn them and that cheap labor....i know those mexicans thought that my head was in the wrong place
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: lol
Munchkin181: lol oh that's bad
I'm never hyper, but only around her. I just get this enegry from her, i just feel like i can goof off and not be ridiculed for whatever actions i make.
I feel safe around some people here. My room mates, i'm not too sure i feel safe w/ all of them. Sara the least... while she's a great person, it's her comments to me and others that are to brash... She doesn't think before she speaks, and a lot of what she says is just to get attention, but even so... it doesn't have to be offensive.
Meredith, one of my new art friends who lives on my floor, hates Sara. And what Sara has said to her, i'm not surprized.
Sunday night while i was working out in the common on my art project, Sara was out there w/ Dan doing stupid stuff... i just wanted to kill them. Even w/ my head set on, i couldn't block them out. So, i get reinforcements... Megadeath(aka Meredith)!!
So, she comes out helps me w/ my project takes a seat and watches the havock of Sara and Dan.
Sara;"Meredith can i ask you if you are a virgin?"
Mere;"No."
Sara;"No, you're not a virgin?"
Mere;"No you can't ask me that."
It got dead silent after that, i was so proud of Mere. She's my idol. I don't really care about telling ppl stuff, but for her to stand up to Sara like that, Nice.
Sara asks people to many thing concerning stupid stuff... She's already commented about Emily's(sara's roomie) body, saying how weird some parts of her are.
Sara has her good quailties, don't get me wrong. But i don't feel like a good person next to her. I don't feel like an equal. Whatever i've done, it seems that she has a step above me.
It's weird... not to feel comfortable around them. I should, considering i've lived w/ them for a semester.
I miss Bridget, she understood me. Basically every aspect she could understand about me. The only thing that i couldn't connect w/ her was that fact she had a boyfriend, and i just never have had one... so while i could give her advice, i really didn't know how to comfort her when she'd have arguements w/ Rich.
There wasn't a day that i didn't go somewhere w/ Bridget. She was the only one who waited for me to eat dinner after practice, we could laugh about the EPE(our ac unit, which we dubbed), watch adult swim and Jackass everynight. They were homey habbits.
She was my best connection here, 2nd best to Erika, but Erika's obviously in DE.
Siigh, time to go hunt down my advisor. Some advisor she is if she can't even advise in where she is!
CheZ