I did clean Lady's tank. See, I can take care of others living space, but I can't take care of my own.
It's been 4 days since Josh has been gone. I think I neglected the fact that he is studying abroad in Scotland as I'm writing this. We've talked 3 nights out of the 4.
So I guess the question to be asked is if I miss him, (I'm pausing over here...) I guess the best way to put it is Yes, but with exceptions. It's not the deep ache that I've known. It's not the obsessive ache of him being in the state and doing things I wish I could be doing with him.
For him it's more.
Hey Emilie,I�m really starting to miss you already. Probably sounds pretty stupid, but this whole damn city is just one big mass of couples. The secret to beating the cold Scotish weather is not wool as they tell you�
I guess the other reason I miss you is because I want to share all the good times I�m having. It�s one thing to enjoy the sights and the pubs, but it�s another to enjoy them while holding someone. Makes it twice as good. That and my turmoil with sleep� need you here to sleep better heh.
The dance classes sound cool. We�ll have to do that sometime when I�m back in the states. How goes work in the meantime? Meadowbrook still holding up?
Sincerely,
Joshua
Now his mentality is where I used to be, but I think I had more emotions to it.
I'm not puting down the email, I just sent my own sappy version of missing him.
What I'm trying to get at is there's a difference from missing someone and to wanting them there. Hmm... I'm still not explaining it right.
Do I want him to ache for me, oh hell no. I think it's sweet that he wants to experience his trip with him, I guess I'm just questioning on how can he miss me after 2 days?
When I knew that he was gone, I pouted, and went to work and didn't give it another thought.
I feel horrible for having to question his emotions, but for me right now... I'm not lonely, I don't miss him as much as he misses me.
We JUST got back together. I've been without him for a month and a half, we had a week to be together before he left... And while I'm emotionaly invested in this relationship, I'm not invested as much as I was previously.
I have no idea where this entry is going now.
Main Guestion: Why does he miss me?
I'm not saying that to put my character down... I'm sure I'm a great person to miss. I just can't connect with him on the same level.
Sigh, I just like to make my life more difficult. Stupid annalizing abilities.
Ya know, this is the one thing I hate the most about being a woman. I can't take things for face value, there's always some message hidden among the obvious.
With that, I think I'll go find some hidden items among the clean and dirty pile of clothes.
Oh! I found some lovely white lacey grany panties in my laundry a couple days ago. I gave them to Marisa, I thought she'd like them... she threw them back in my face.
I was heart broken.
chez