"Yeah sorry i was late for callin' you, i was running late w/ my job.."
"Oh! You have a job now?"
"Uh, yeah guess i didn't tell you..."
Heh, yeah... He's a trucker now. It's a part time job so he can pay his bills and get situated to find a real job.
God, it's like those people that you knew from highschool that they'd make big and the world knew that could reach that goal... then it's a look where they are now deal.
That's just so depressing.
We all have expectations of ourselves. I have high expectations for me. I know what i can achieve and will go the step up for it.
I just don't get what he wants... he's such a great guy, and for him do a job like that?
Yes, it's a job, people have to do it... but, he had it at least semi going well for him here.
Oh and our end converstation, his phone was dying, we were wrapping the convo up, and me the bitch self says:
"So i'll see ya later."
"... oh yeah..."
"Bye."
"Bye."
Honestly i would have liked to talk to him longer, but ever since our break up, it's just hard to talk, we don't go easy into conversations.
We fish for words to come.
Then never want to come.
It's a painful 8 mins.
We're both avoiding the issues behind our break-up, and it's both biting our ankles like, common! you know you need to talk!
It'll never happen, no point now.
God, his news just disturbed me.
It just sucks how hard it is being so awkward, we just have nothing to say to eachother, making me feel like it was just a mistake being together, and that's not what i want to have trail my thoughts when i think about him.
Siiiigh.
I can't think about this now. I have way too much shit i have to get done and i don't need to dwell on Brandon.
There's shit that needs to get done, and it's not.
chez