Muscle gone, replaced with a flesh that isn't toned.
Strength, and so much pride... gone.
I've know my old body has been replaced with an actual grls body.
I took pride in that i could bench my own weight.
Take pride in the guns that i could show off. The power of my shoulders.
Clothes that never fit now fit. Jeans that would fall off fit, or are too small.
It's sad seeing myself deteriorate infront of my own very eyes. I accept who i am... but i have never been out of the water more than 2 months out of the whole year... I've been done since october.
I've tried to work out... but there's a lack of motivation, i need a push... a coach. I've had one for so long... to live w/o is hard.
Suck it up.
Deal.
Forget the Uncontrolables.
But it's hard to forget that it's my body that told me it was time to quit. And then studies, then parents, then my old coach... all telling me for the better.
God, i thought i was happy... but look at me now.
What a fucking great life i seem to be leading.
chez