it's weird not having chris her makin her usual noise. I actually don't mind her talking on her cell constantly anymore... tis quite funny now considering i plan on moving out.
and because i'm soo bored... i just have this desire to call John *winces* But i'm not! I'm not! I'm not! My God! i sound like a bitch in heat!
Argh, i fucking hate this... why can't i go back to the way i used to be?
where no one noticed me? where i was just in the background, it was soo much better that way... yeah, sometimes i hated it... but i loved my swimming... and it was all i needed. even tho i still love swimming, it's not the same... it will never be the same...
Being stuck in the past... not cool, man.
Now i'm here, and all of a sudden, ppl actually notice me! where they pay attention to me! It's the most amazing thing... in the beginging it absolutly shocked me i think... and it prolly elevated my homesickness cuz it was soo strange here, and all i wanted was my mommy and kitty... and to see erika and everyone else and just laugh and make sarcastic jokes...
Ya know... i haven't been able to find an absolutly saracstic person to talk to yet... Erika, you're one of a kind ^_^ but i wish i could find someone like you here... then i think i could make fun of the situations more!
Laura and Bridget as cool as hell... and as of yet they are the only ones i can call friends here...
*sighs* i wish i could be a lil different... i know everyone wishes that... but i wish i wasn't soo... shy. I'm not like hide behind a corner shy... i'm just quite and i won't speak my mind.
Maybe i should let Sara (swimmy friend) to get me drunk one of these days... maybe that'd put a different perspecitive on things... then maybe i'll be a lil more out going and less scared...
CheZ