Wicked Wonderland In a Bind
Backbone level 8
07.12.05 - 8:01 pm

Today was another level. Yesterday I said all of this moving stuff was a 2 on my scale.

It's uped to 8 now. The reason... my room mates. I called Beth this morning, told her a brief message about the deliema and told her she needed to help move out. Only problem was that she wouldn't be back in time.

Beth blew up basically. I'm still tramatised by the way we both acted. She is quick to anger and I'm just as quick to feel quilty and give in.

I didn't this time, I stood on my own. I tried to tell her about everything that's been going on, and she just threw it all back in my face.

I hung up on her, I couldn't take it any more.

All this happened after my class. As soon as I hung up with Beth, I called my mom crying, and finally made the decision that I can not live with Beth and Vicki.

I've asked for a room change. My mom is going to come down on Friday to help me pack and shit.

The thing that probably helped and didn't help was my mom called Beth. So, my mom made her cry and just said basically everything that I've never been able to say to her.

I did call Beth when I got my barings, and we both apologized. We both aren't in the right. We both acted like fools. I don't want to loose Beth's or Vicki's friendship, but dear god this just wasn't the day for all of this.

Each person has faults. Ours were clear today.

I'm so mentally and physically exahusted. I have to finish one more book. I have to finish it tonight.

I just need a nap first, something to help my head. Make it less foggy.

Whitney should be a little proud of me. I did stand up to Beth. I didn't just back down.

I have no back bone. I think today just wasn't the time to show that there is something of one.

chez

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