I had a dream about swimming, last night while at Lisa's...
I remember diving in, it was an out door pool tho, and it felt like while i lost some of my strength i could still keep up w/ the team.
Just the part of me diving in... Siigh, i miss it. I've also been talking to one of my swimmer friends, Eric, who is mad fast, and talking to him i just miss swimming even more.
I don't know how i'm going to survive the DE State meet. I went to that meet for 4 to 5 years. I know the pool like the back of my hand becuase all of DE's major swim meets are held there. Highschool States, The State meet... i went to Highschool States for 4 years...
And my mom keeps telling me i need to keep working out, just so i can clear my head... but i just can't.
I've been so tired as of late.
But if i hadn't quit swimming, i wouldn't be able to have the fun i have now... i wouldn't be able to take naps everyday, like i do.
I wouldn't be able to hang out w/ my art friends in the labs, just playing around.
I need to go to the ceramics lab w/ Linds.. i think that will help me take my mind off of swimming.
I don't think about it everyday... but when i swam i had no dreams about swimming, but now i have them every now and then.
I'm prolly going to be associated w/ swimming for the rest of my college existance.
I wouldn't have quit if i wasn't so unsure of myself or the coach. I wasn't happy because i had no clue where i was heading. I was tired of not knowing when i would do a best time.
It fucking sucks when you know your flat. Or peeked... which ever term. All it means is that you no longer can go fast, or your term of fast.
Maybe i'll swim w/ John this summer. I don't know how that would affect me tho... i know i could swim a few meets...
off to go draw... nude bodies, i know that'll take my mind off of swimming...
CheZ