Started classes:
These classes while aren't at all bad this semester in terms of studio hours that I've pulled are going to be easy... Only thing is, my classes are about 5 hours plus. Two classes a week that are 5, and two others that are 3. Once my claywork class starts though that'll add 4 more hours to the load.
I only have to buy one book and clay. That's it! It's totally awesome to not have a supply list that costs over two thousand dollars. The max I've spent so far is probably less that two hundred. How freakin awesome is that?
Work:
I'm going to be working something close to 30 hours. One job that I'm doing I'm not getting paid for, well... I do get studio space. I'm nude modeling this semester for my ceramic teacher and will be firing for the studio, too. I've got my regular guarding, lessons and desking job. Nothing new there... Other than my boss giving some of my hours away. I confronted him about it, well I only got two sentences out and he gave me back the hours.
I swear, I feel like I'm going to get beaten and bludgered if I confront John... but every time he proves me wrong. Another example was when I asked him about getting a raise. I got the words, "Am I eligable for a raise?" and imediately he said yes. I was close to floored right there in front of him, I think my eyes glazed over and drool dripping out my mouth.
The boy:
I'm getting a whole lot better about my feelings/situation with Josh.
I think I could say the word love, but... my heart isn't fully there yet. I did go through withdrawl from him today. It was so odd. I haven't talked to him all day, only online for a little bit.
Each day I feel a bit more.
I'm most certainly in a better mind set than I was in the first round of our relationship. My head is in a better place and over all I'm happy.
I miss the absolute giddyness... and I miss the feeling of love that I had for him, but this is for the best.
I'm not going to lose my head this time. I can't say for sure that this will work again, but I'm looking forward for what's going to come.
Josh is taking me skiing for my birthday and Valentines. I've never had anyone celebrate that with me, I've never gotten a present from someone that cares about me.
I think this is a perfect gift. It's not something tangible, meaning it's not like jewerly or clothes.
Josh had asked me the other day about how I felt about Vday, and I told him I don't know what Vday is supposed to be like. I know the cheesey "dinner and flowers" shit... but I've never had anyone do it. Then he asked me what I expected from it and I told him, "A kiss."
Flowers would be nice, but if he's taking me skiing then I'm taking the skiing over the flowers.
I've never been skiing.
I don't even know if I've been on a mountain.
I just can't believe I have two weeks before I turn 22. I can't believe a year has gone by... I know I've done something of a sum up entry but this for me is probably going to be a big one.
Last birthday is most certainly going to be different from this one. For one I'll be skiing on the 11th, but there's no point for me to throw a party.
Well, whatever these next few weeks have to throw at me at least I'm in a good mind set this week.