Josh playing around on the internet and me watching Shogun and going out of my mind.
It was a hard day, I worked 3 workshifts and had class. I couldn't have been more brain dead.
I'm not mad at him for playing or doing whatever he was doing... I just wanted to be in my own be. I wanted my own comforts. I couldn't get any of them. He wasn't able to give them anyways...
Now, I'm not the kind of girl that wants everything perfect on this day. This is actually the first time I've had a boyfriend. I don't need jewels or flowers. Josh gave me a card and hersey kisses at work, that suited me fine. It made my morning pleasent... it was just the aftermath of a long day that made me irritated. He didn't get of his computer till 1am last night, that's what just annoyed me. I was so tired but the tired where you can't sleep.
I was almost in tears because I was so tired.
I was going to write a huge entry on my skiing trip but I just don't have the heart to do it. It was great, I fell a couple of times, and it snowed the whole time.
I think what got me yesterday was the fact that I wasn't even home for more than 30mins and I had to go back into the car and pick Josh up to go to his place. I just wanted to be here, in my room.
Oh well... today's going to suck anyways, I have class all day and I really need space from Josh. I wouldn't have told you that yesterday... I was prepared to tell him that I loved him yesterday.
Fear and old breakup feelings then ensued upon me.
I think this week is going to be a little rough for me. We'll see how things go.
chez