6 months not including the break. Here that diary! I've "techinquely" broken my 3 month record.
I don't think Josh is aware of this... I can never tell with him, he surprises me all the time. I think I got him on this one. I planned on making him dinner, but I'm thinking that's falling through due to the lack of ingredients.
I started the day in a horrible mood of dread that dissapated during the day. I was working and making my mind go in horrible cirlces.
Josh and I did some errands today. I got tea for my mom and older brother. I'm using the tea as my appology. I'm tired of this bullshit of him not talking to me. I'm caving in. It wasn't my fault that he was a jerk face and tried to hit me... Ok, I instigated it... but I'm the younger sister, that's my job even at 22.
After that Josh and I went to go to Best Buy, on the way there Josh wanted to stop and "buy" a puppy.
I told him that I was actually thinking of buying him one for graduation. We then started talking about what kinds, got on the subject of me being terrified of big dogs, and then ending the discussion with him saying, "I always thought our first baby would be a puppy."
Invision me gasping on the inside. Not a bad gasp but just one of shock. I would not have invisioned those words coming out.
He always gets me that way. Always shocks me with some romantic future...
While Josh doesn't act romanticly (and I don't need him to), it's his words that have a heavy impact on me.
Words are a very powerfull force for me. I transform words into unseen promises. Like, one day Josh can visualize us having a puppy... what I'll do is hold him to his word. Even if the words "I promise" are not infront of the sentence.
To be realistic I don't expect us to have a puppy... it's just a huge IF.
I do have a limit to what I expect from him.
I'm just wondering what he expects from me?
chez