When I've been going good, I'm in for the bad... but when I get the bad, I get it hard.
This week, the bad karma just won't stop.
Today I broke down again.
I got yelled at work, for not finishing a job my one of my head bosses gave me. Here's how the ranking goes at my work. Owners, General Manger, Manager, and guards/pro-shop/deskies/snackbar. I'm a manager now, so Patti (owner) gave me something to do.
Not only do I have those bosses to deal with, but I have to listen to John (Gen manager). Then I also have to listen to two other people who are managers, but manage bills, lesson... you name it. There's about seven people that I have to listen to.
Today I got to work, I was exhausted and Cathy jumps down my throat and tells me to get my ass in gear. She didn't "say it" that way, but Cathy's a spazz. Anyways, from 8 until 1 I was doing what Cathy wanted me to do. I was helping the deskie, Anna, with lessons, signing people in... doing front desk work. And running around doing other random shit.
Around 1:30 Patti comes to the desk, I was mopping and I come up behind her. She turns on me and gives me a verbal whipping. "I'm the boss, you do my work." Was one of her last lines.
I'm under a great deal of stress now. With Josh gone, my nerves are frayed, I cry at a drop of a hat. I'm tearing up right now... Thing was John my other boss, was standing right there, and he didn't even help me out. He just shrugged.
It's my second day as being a manager. I've guarded and desked for about two years now. Even then, I still don't know the in's and out's of Mbrook. I know I was not in the right, but what am I to do when I have several bosses to listen to, and they all want different things done at different times. I'm one person and a new manager.
Once I got out of work, I fell into my bed and balled. I miss Josh soo much. I don't feel like I'm cut out to be a manager. All I want is things to go back the way they were. All I want was the phone to go off and it be him on the other line.
The only phone call I got was from Patti. She called to appologize. For a boss to do that, I gave her props, but still I just want people to understand I'm Very touchy right now. I'm not all mentaly here. I have no control over my emotions now.
I did call my mom today. I balled with her, and she made me feel a whole lot better. Even though I'm crying now, and I can't really say why... We talked for a good two hours. I decided that I'm going home tomorrow and stay till Monday. I get to cuddle with my kitty, spend time with mommy and my brothers.
There was another thing I decided on today. I'm thinking of getting a kitten. I NEED a kitten. I need some kind of companionship. I'm so alone here. I don't really talk to any of my room mates, I have no realtionship with them. I don't want to have to go beyond my room for a friend.
I have a cat at home in Delaware, but I can't move my kitty... Nimhie wouldn't survive. She's such a sheltered cat. I wouldn't want to put there in that kind of situation. Basically I'd keep the cat in my room. If it's a kitten, it won't know any better.
My room isn't a closet. It's big room. For a kitten it'll be perfect. Come May, we'll see where I move. I may possibly stay, just cause of the size. I pay $400, for a room w/ a half bath, two fairly deep closets, a bed, foton couch, and two desks. I could fit four or five peopl in my room to sleep and they'd be fine.
The only problem is bugs. I'm having a battle with crickets and spiders.
My kitty Loves to eat bugs, now I would think that would make a kitty a good companion. You have an automatic exterimator. =)
With that I'm off to check on my dinner. Good night, and let's hope I don't cry myself to sleep tonight.
chez