I was kindly told, like the rest of my team... that we might only have 18 grls on the team next yr. Out of the 32 we have now.
Just... great, man. Just great.
It's like, Pat, wtf man? I have enough pressure on me to get good grades, depression, and now you put this fact on me.
I was tearing up, because of the negitivity of the fucking speach. Yeah, you have no chance next yr. But don't worry, i still want you to swim all summer and then when the next season comes, i'll tell you that you're getting cut.
Thanks Pat, thanks for a great end of the yr.
*siiiigh* then the practice started.
We had to swim a 2000 so that's 80 laps straight. It takes around 20 mins to do. And i was leader today... wee....
so we're told to pull w/ paddles, which are these flat things that go on your hands. And you also can use a pull bouy, which you put between your legs so you can float. I never use one cuz i always lose it. It just doesn't like pussy *evil grin*, i know that was bad.
Anyway, we get done and Niki, who i love dearly *gags* said
"I hate ppl who don't use their bouys."
Wtf, grl. She had her back to me and told another grl, who wasn't even pulling! oO
Just tell me to my fucking face. And then i'll tell her that she needs to learn leader courtesy. If i'm the leader, and i get on your ass cuz you go fucking slow, then you stop or move out of the way to lot the leader go by.
You didn't do that! She would flip turn in the middle of the fucking wall... Argh!
I didn't wanna pass her in the middle of the lane cuz of other ppl going by, and i didn't want to use up my energy.
She wouldn't let me go by for 4 laps. That's like a 1:15 of dragging off of a person. Yeah sure, it's only around a minute, but when your swimming every second counts.
And she just didn't wanna move. I touched her feet, tried to pass her on the other side, but she wouldn't let me go by... so i cut in the middle of the lane ^_^ I Was going to say sorry, but then she said the comment, and then nope, no appology out of me.
the things ppl do that piss me off.
And it takes a lot to make me mad. Erika will attest to that, and my anger doesn't last long. I think i've only been truely mad at her twice, since i've known her.
One when she ditched me and when her cell phone died. The only reason as to why i got mad for the phone was cuz, i just thought i woke her up and she was mummbling. So... yeah.
And i'm never mad for more than 10 minutes. I forgive to easily... and i'm gullible.
So guys, if you tell me a lie, i'll more than likely believe you. but if i find out it's a lie... well then, you gain another quality of myself.
The fact that i'll never ever trust the person again.
If it's a white lie, then fine, that i could prolly forgive, giving the sircomstance(sp?) or something.
I still haven't forgiven Julia for what she did to me and the group i was w/.
I'm mad defensive about my friends.
fuck w/ me, i could care less. Just don't mess w/ my friends. I cling to them for support...
And now my only support is leaving...
Bridget's not comeing back, and it's really affected me...
Just the whole fucking tuition shit has affected me.
I'm just depressed. And it sucks. I hate feeling like there's somthing weighing on my head and crushing my thinking abilities.
I hate money. I hate MD for doing this to me and the rest of the state. they just need to fuck off.
Ok, on to study Psych! Woo Hoo!
Chez