Woah... last night....
Dude, my nights, are the most exciting parts of my life.
Am i a vampire or something?
Anyway, last night i decided i'd stay in. Sickness and all... and i had two tests in the morning, yadda yadda yadda...
Just to let ya know i'm a magnet for trouble... even in my dorm. I can't escape. Erika's a magnet to lesbian trouble, i'm... "the Other" trouble.
God. i wanted to just Shoot myself last night. Some how... some way, i started a religion discussion.
I'm still mortified by the out comings of that... and i can't repeat what happened. I'm that... well not disturbed, but... i don't know the word for it. It's something i know that's out there but i just am in denial about it.
Yeah... i'm in denial about a grl that proclaims she's not a lesbian anymore, and only wants the memories as a reminder for her sins...
I'm not even a lesbian and i want to smack the grl into reality.
I felt such sorrow over the fact that she has "urges" and supresses them for her God.
How can one supresses desire? Love? Lust?
I thought i wasn't going to get into this... well here's my convo w/ Erika about it:
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: Konban wa!
stonedhenge42O: chicken
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: lol, good evening ^_^
stonedhenge42O: hazzo
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: what's up?
stonedhenge42O: nothin
stonedhenge42O: i was sleeping but mom called and woke me up so i haven't been able to sleep since then
stonedhenge42O: i ran into lenny today
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: really??
stonedhenge42O: yeah
stonedhenge42O: he transferred to UD from mississippi
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: woah.
stonedhenge42O: apparently mississippi sucks worse than delaware
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: ha.
stonedhenge42O: i still swear he's gay
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: lol
stonedhenge42O: ah well
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: dude, i had an interesting night... i started a debate about religion and it went down hill from there.
stonedhenge42O: um
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: One catholic grl, me and another grl are like we don't know enough about religion to be religious, a reverted lesbian christian, and a full blow love me jesus christian
stonedhenge42O: yeah?
stonedhenge42O: hm
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: Oh man... tell me
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: the reverted lesbian... only became straight because she wanted to please god it seems. and the love me jesus grl, almost cried of joy when she heard that and kept saying "the lord loves you"
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: i wanted to die.
stonedhenge42O: i would have politely excused myself and then beat up a wall
stonedhenge42O: or kissed the lesbian. one of the two.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: it was soo weird... Dawn (the not lesbian) was muslim but she turned to christianity w/ her family. And she was gay from 6th grade until a few yrs ago. And she thought god hated her because of her "Sin"
stonedhenge42O: i hate religion
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: so do i
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: aparently churches wouldn't let her in... and she searched every religion. And her room mate, the catholic, then got pointed at and these were Dawn's words "I'm sorry, but i don't understand how catholics can hate lesbians. The priests themselves are gay! why don't you guys change your beliefs?!
stonedhenge42O: heh
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: bascially, Dawn was blaming the catholic grl (which is also her roommate) for what her religion does and did do.
stonedhenge42O: hoo boy
stonedhenge42O: i'm under the belief that there are two things you shouldn't talk about with people who aren't your close friends: politics and religion.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: i cut down Dawn's wording cuz i can't remember it all... but yeah she had that "blame" kind of voice and... oh i felt sooo sorry for her room mate
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: i don't know how i started it
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: i just said something religious
stonedhenge42O: you started it?
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: yep.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: out of the blue.... and i dunno...
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: it was when the Jeus grl came in that it got serious
stonedhenge42O: stupid jesus girls
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: *shivers* never Ever again will i do that
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: oh, and you remember DJ right? the drunk
stonedhenge42O: yes
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: then he got into it! defending the non religious!
stonedhenge42O: nice.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: yeah... i was just like... oh my.. what the fuck have i started
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: It was when the Jesus grl almost started crying for tears of joy when Dawn told her that she wasn't gay anymore and was repressing her sin...
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: i just couldn't take it. it was offending even to me.
stonedhenge42O: that's so sick
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: how can one... supresses something like that?
stonedhenge42O: how can one believe that something that's right to them is something bad enough to put them in hell
stonedhenge42O: to call it a sin
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: and, De also has a rainbow key chain... just a rainbow, not the w/ the yellow line starting in the middle... i wanted to ask her about it cuz i've seen her keys before... and she said she wanted it as a reminder for her sins
stonedhenge42O: i shake my head
stonedhenge42O: i think my neighbor is having sex.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: my neighbors are out in the clubs drunk
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: and will be coming back soon
stonedhenge42O: *shakes head*
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: yeah.
stonedhenge42O: i'm sure you're looking forward to that
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: oh yes... and i should be asleep. but now my cold is semi gone and feel a whole lot better!
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: ^__________^
stonedhenge42O: haha awesome :-)
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: oh yes. very ^_^
stonedhenge42O: *high five*
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: oh and erika, don't ever change. *low two* ;p
stonedhenge42O: never ever
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: good.
stonedhenge42O: and by the way, that entry about me changing isnt about me becoming someone completely different
stonedhenge42O: just becoming the person i want to be
stonedhenge42O: so... it's good change
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: ok... i just don't want you to become straight. I think that would scare me way too much
stonedhenge42O: lol
stonedhenge42O: i'd rather kill myself
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: I'd help. ;p
stonedhenge42O: if i'm going to burn in hell i don't care. eternal damnation is better than lying and spending my life in misery.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: I don't fucking care where i go... somewhere is better than nowhere.
Apparently when Me and Meridith(the other no nothing about religion) went to go watch a movie that they had a really good discusion. It was only when DJ came in did i get scared. He's not the brightest crayons in the box... and i really didn't want anyone offended...
But no, i just fucked up just cuz i started the fucking thing.
I got bored. What can i say? I was studying my japanese... and when the jesus grl started to ask me to go w/ her to a bible study did i get even more weirded out.
Dude, i remember sunday school... i would sit there next to my friend (who i spent the night w/) and have no clue about what we were reading.
Meridith and i had a short discusion about how we were brought up. My parents took me to church... but stopped when i was lil.
So i've never gown up in a religious envirionment. And i see the bible, just as a book. I can't see it as history... and most of me doesn't even want to see for the fact that it was made by man who is bias.
There is no truth. There is only oppinion.
It's like the eye witness theory... to many ppl could see one thing, and have a totally different view on the event.
I look at the bible as one of my fantasy books. Except i'd never read the bible for enjoyment.... Never.
When i was lil, i acutally took my mothers bible that she had as a child and i was going to read it. Just so that i didn't look stupid to religious people.
But ya know. Fuck it. Most people think i'm stupid/weird anyway... what's another fucking judging group going to do to me?
Siigh... this is the kind of mood i get in when i get my period.
I'm such a bitter person.
oh well.
Nothing wrong w/ a lil acid. ;p
CheZ