Pardon the dust on the photo's. Those took me 4 hours to print 12 of them, 6 each.
It's weird. I don't feel like writing all the much any more.
Everything is going great. I have no "angst" in my life now. Yeah, i'm stressed but that's school... nothing big.
If i don't have a big problem, then i don't need to get everything off my chext. There's nothing really to tell now.
But then i should be recording my thoughts, my feelings on feeling good... definatly would be diverting from my normal ranting.
But it all includes Brandon.
I never realized why people like relationships if all they do is complain about them... but then there's that one part that most seem to over look, the fact that you are with them because there's a mutual caring.
I missed home so much last year because i thought no one cared for me here. And all the people i cared about were in DE.
It's changed somewhat with me getting more friends, and getting closer to others... but it's scarey how much my own reactions and emotions to people were telling me that there was just something "off" in me.
My past entries practically scream it. My ups and downs... the way i would react to people. My nerves being almost killed. Then Brandon comes along... then somehow i get up righted.
And here i was thinking i could live without being loved.
Not love... we aren't "in love". But just the fact that we are very considerate to eachother.
I still can't stop thinking about one thing he did for me... it's not much but...
I went to his place to watch and return a movie of his. I walk in because no one answered the door and i find Brandon with his roommate at the computer.
Tom is amusing me while Brandon is trying to beat the game. Tom has a kick ass water bed. I was just having fun with it, sitting there and throwing my back into the bed. So much fun. I was like a lil child in a water pool.
Brandon beats his game and we go into his room so i can put my jacket and purse down. I turn around, he grabs me and gives me a peck on the lips.
"Sorry that i was ignoring you."
I was dazed for a couple of seconds.
"Nah, it's alright... my brothers are gamers, remember? I can sit and watch them play for hours. Didn't bother me a bit."
Just that lil peck threw me off.
That moment among others makes me feel just special.
It's nice to have.
chez
