aLiCeGoNeMaD84:i'm thinking about having the whole gang to have a get together one of these days... since lori and i are the only ones going away
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: well, i dunno if that's gonna happen anytime soon. some shit went down yesterday.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: like what??
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: me, sara, stacey, lori, chris, and laura were all supposed to come over the justine's. lori, chris, and laura had been really secretive about stuff and had not really talked to any of us in a while.
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: so..we confronted them about what was going on. and let's just say it got ugly from there on. believe me, it was not pretty.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: *blinks* what'd they say?? cuz as you can tell.. i feel like i'm in a diferent world from everyone else... no one calls me...
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: i know man, you're in outerspace. they got really defensive when we asked what was going on and they argued that it was a two sided thing and blahblahblah. either way, me sara stacey and justine found out that we did have good reason to be mad at them.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: and most of the time i don't call.. cuz my mom is either on the phone or my lil bro... the internet it my substitute
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: yea, i know what you mean.
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: i am on here all the time.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: so what was the reason for chris and them to hide something from you guys
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: lol, you don't want to know. it's just a big whole crappy drama. lord knows what we are going to do about it!?
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: i'd like to know so i can at least help you guys out somewhat.
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: lol, do you really wanna know?
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: yes.
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: well, you remember Will(kristin's ex-b) right? that i went out with. and i just kinda stopped. well, you also know how we prank called him a couple times with the whole group?
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: yes, with your cell phones.. i remember that
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: we finally told him who it really was and we hung out with him once more (this was after senior week). then we kinda lost touch for a while.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: *nods*
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: well lori, chris, and laura come out last night after we practically had to DRAG IT OUT OF THEM and said that they have been hanging out for about a month with will and his friends. and they also ditched a group gettogether and lied to us about it go to will's house.
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: what!
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: i mean *to go to will's house.
~SwEeTiE kRiS~: oh yea, that was my reaction. actually, it was silence first. then a laugh of relief that it wasn't something EXTREME, but then i was just like what!?
aLiCeGoNeMaD84: yeah man...
*shakes head* I'm so alone at times... and this is the reason why... i don't have anything in common w/ these girls anymore.
I take being ignored to heart. If you don't want me around... tell me. I don't fucking care. I've had a harsh life. I don't think this will phase me a bit.
I told my mom what the grls did behind kristin's back... and she was like.. "You don't have to have a get together, you know... You'll see them again." Likely hood that i will is slim. They won't know what i'm doing and i won't know what they are doing. As you can see... they hang out all the time... what about me? It makes me so pissed off... and it hurts like hell. I'm on the verge of tears right now cuz it hurts so much. Four fucking years together... and they bail out on me now. Yeah, i may not have anything in common w/ 'em. but we were friends. Friends are hard to come by. I'm thankfull to have erika and all... and melissa my anime friend. But Erika is going to UD and Melissa is going to be a senior in highskool. I won't even see them... just talking thru aim isn't enough for me. I like seeing ppl i know. I'm going to know no one in Towson....
I need to get away... delaware ppl huring me too much...
I'm such a hypocrite...
I feel like a lost lil grl roaming the wallways, when i was in 6th grade. I'm not lil. I've definatly have come a long way from a verbal abused grl. I'm not ugly... or pretty... i'm average. and for some reason... i was always picked on. Ever since i can remember. Teasing fucks kids up. I don't take jokes well... i've gotten better at it... but sometimes, i just don't know when a person is kidding or being serious. I hate it when my lil bro comes home in tears cuz kids have teased him cuz he's chubby. I hate it. I hate lil kids for their harshness towards ppl. and yet.. i want to be a teacher...
Tis a fucked up world. and the only person i understand thru all this is Erika... and she's having a pretty fucked up life too at the momment.
Argh. I really hate feeling this way.
I didn't plan on crying. I hate this hurtfull crying. But it's not something i can't control. And crying yeah it's heathy and all... but... i don't like it when it involes a personal stuggle.
I better stop... i getting myself worked up over nothing... i won't be able to sleep now..
~Chez