However you look at it... it maybe the time where you found the love of your life, creating the understanding of your career in life...
Or maybe you lost yourself among the crowd... Again... and have to find yourself over...
Heh.
I know my likes... dislikes.
I just am having a hard time trying to be what i was...
I was thinking in the shower, about how many times i've been Truely happy.
1. When Boob/John gave me a "birthday" cake, when we ate dinner w/ a group of swimmers at the olive garden.
2. When i saw Megan (old swimmy mate) at a Woodswork Concert.
3. Florida, when i felt good in the water, like i was worth being part of the team.
4.Seeing something lower than a 2:39 in my 200 brst.
In the shower i came up w/ 3, but i just remembered florida.
That's sad.
4 things this whole yr...
That just makes me wanna cry right now.
Oh wait. Art.
Art just makes me feel good no matter how frustrated and trivial the project.
Art's gonna be a challenge this semester.
If i had a choice... of reliving a yr of my life... i would chose age 7-10. One of those ages.
The ages when i could not have to worry about anything.
The ages where i could daydream, play with my barbies and breyer horses to no end. And just Play.
That's what i miss.
Just playing.
I can't Play anymore.
Dude, i didn't give up barbies till i was 12.
My world was my friend. The imaginary world where Barbie had Ken... except Ken didn't have that name, and she would be a princess, and would have to be saved. Sitting in her beautiful sleeping beauty gown, on my windowsill, wrapped up in the cord the pulled the shades closed.
And then the Prince, would show up on his trusty horse, or stuffed animal... which everone... and beat the evil witch.
Or my horses... ya know i broke atleast everyone of my horses legs cuz i was too rough w/ them...
But i built them a watering hole... basically i dug a hole in the dirt... ^^;; and poured water into it. Mom didn't like that hole, cuz it never went way... until a yr or two ago, when she finally put a plant in it.
Oh! And my trolls!! ^_^ i would build moss houses for them... hehe that was fun. My mom would walk in the garden and you'd see a big patch of moss missing in the middle of all of the green moss. Ha.
Or i would climb the crabe apple tree and bounce on the boards that my dad put down for us to sit on.
Exploring the stream was fun too ^_^
Searching for tadpoles in the next neighboorhood and then getting banded from the pond, cuz we were too loud and made messes w/ the all the green goupe that was in it.
We thought we were cleaning the pond... sorry if we just left it on the grass for ppl to step on...
Oh yeah, and we fished in the pond... ^^;; When ppl actually Bought the fish to stay in there... We put 'em back tho!! We didn't eat 'em!
If i could stay that age. I'd be in heaven.
And here i am now...
I'm not miserable...
pffft... i'm far from it... but i'm just eh..
Just Eh...
I don't trust ppl enough here to be my absolute self...
But i don't even know what my Self is anymore.
*shrugs*
Life... too many complications.
To many unknowns.
CheZ