Where the fuck has the yr gone? I don't know where my life went... did i even have a life? Just what the hell happened to me this yr just seems a blur.
heh, i'm sure if i have near death experience today, i'll see everything flash before my eyes.
But i'm just skimming past entries just so that i can remember... and i came across one w/ my old swim team where we went to the beach. That was before i had to worry about moving in to my dorm, with a room mate that i thought was peaches and cream... and turned out to be as sour as a yr old milk.
I've just grown so much this yr... but looking at past entries, i've really have become synical about life... i guess before i was happy of my little existance, and now i have so much more.
I'm not the solitary little grl who would just hide her in room.
I was walking w/ a art classmate today, and she's graduating. We got to talking about the yr, and she asked me:
"what yr are you?"
"freshman, heh...heh..."
"Woah.."
"I don't act like a freshman?"
"Nope, you seem... very collected and together about things."
"Well, w/ a first semester like mine. I was forced to. I didn't have the time to be free."
I really don't act like the other grls here... i get my things done and over with. Even though, yeah i do have my lazy bouts. But, everyone has those days...
I've just become very worldly, as my mother would say.
And yet i crave to go back to my room, just cuddle w/ my cat and never leave again.
Safety.
I feel safe here, but then again i also feel invaded. There are so many ppl here and different personalities... that it's hard not to be invaded!
And next yr... i'm not even going to have a room mate... i'm going to have it all to myself. This room is mine until Housing and Residence figures out, that my room mate didn't come back.
it's just so wierd... thinking that, i'm not going to have bridget here... *sigh*
i'm reading another entry... where i missed morning practice, and it was the second week in... And it seems like i placed my life in my coach's hands.
Just cuz i missed a fucking practice, and i did it again last month, too. I'm so fucked up, lol.
I wonder what's going to happen when i get home...
In the beginning of school, i was really home sick. And now.. eh. I don't really care all too much.
I miss home. I miss my cat and my mom. But i don't depend on them as much any more.
That's mean isn't it? i miss my cat and my mom, but not the rest of my family. Ha.
My brothers and dad can just go somewhere into the woods and disappear.
Well, time to stop worrying abou the future and past and go to practice.
I wonder what we're doing today?
CheZ