Omg such fun.
I only had one shot and glupped down a cranberry vodka. Tis it. I'm gettting better at holding my liquior.
Ha, i can't believe i'm saying that.
God, where have my morals gone?
Once straight edge, now on my way to be considered an alcoholic... not litterly tho (which will not happen as long as i know what i'm doing)
And, as for guys... i had no idea how to dance w/ them... how to communicate w/ them. And then tonight, here i was seducing a poor freshman. A good seducing ^_~
Hey, i'm already being called Wayne's World "Shwing" and God. Why not!
I'm tired of being... a fucking anal retentive bitch. To many morals from what i've found, can sufficate a person.
And damn, i was certainly making my noose tighter and tighter while growing up.
Being an outcast can do that to you. Not wanting to do what the majority does. Just being a fucking prick is the way i see now. Or atleast as i saw myself. Morals, are you concience. They set the tone of everything.
I can still rebel in my own lil ways. But now, i'm in college. I've never lived my life...
And now, i am.
I feel like now... i'm free.
My wings fully extended and only the current of warm air is keeping my newly developed freedom from falling into the crashing sea below.
I'm no butterfly. I've never changed. I'm still the same person. I'm just myself but... out. Open. And i'm sorry i let my worries my fears get in the way of my living.
Damn. If only i learned this earlier.
My wings are still damnaged from the abuse of hiding and getting beaten (not litteraly... just teasing, harrassement type deal). But as long as i'm in this up draft, i hope all will go well.
But as for my night!
It didn't start well, on the ride down, some drunks pulled my hair.
I let it slide twice. But on the third i confronted them.
"YO, what the hell are you doing?"
The guys beind me pt to this one guy.. and the other pts to someone else.
"Look, what the fuck have i done to you?"
Blank stares
"I'm sitting here, looking forward. I haven't done shit to you, so don't fuck w/ me."
End of story, i turn around and Fumed.
I swear smoke was coming off of me, i was soo pissed.
It sucks when you think you get from that imaturity. But no. It'll never go away.
Just because i'm different looking (i mean by my hair ) doesn't give them the excuse for harassing me.
Smolders. Gr.
Any way. We get into Baja (club in Balt. MD) and it's pretty packed considering it just opened.
No one's on the dance floor and the grls run straight for it. Me dragging behind.
Before i know it, we set the mood for everything. Once we start dancing, the everyone comes. It was pretty cool.
Then it gets packed.
And before i know it... all the swimmers are there.
Me, i'm bouncing around. All happy and what not.
Then i find my lil freshman boy, Chris.
Poor kid, i'm just going to call him my lil boy.
I'm out to corrupt this kid.
and damn, i was out for him tonight. And all the lil freshman grls.
GRRR. They were all over him. =( ah well. He has a grl friend already.
But i saw him first!
Siigh. I'm just going to leave my lil boy alone. He has a grl friend. So. We'll see. But i know he had a good time dancing w/ me ;p
So here i am just dancing. And then... Boob shows up.
So after dancing w/ Chris, i start dancing w/ Boob. And Sara saw me...
Sara dislikes Boob.... w/ a passion. Cuz of what he did to Emily (quad mate, and fuck buddy of Boob.) So, yeah everyone saw me dance w/ him apparently. And when he left he kissed me on the cheek. I was like, woah, where'd that come from? the first time seeing him since last semester... and i got that from him? I dunno, man.
But the fact that everyone knew that i danced w/ him... that just pisses me off.
Oh well.
I'm just glad i had an awsome time.
One swimmer (Chris M. not my lil freshman) was just like.
"Damn Shwing you can dance!"
He kept saying damn for the lil time i danced w/ him. Ha. me a dancer, pft.
I dedicate that to my waltz teachers.
They'd like to know i can grind now ;p
CheZ
