I feel... stupid for what I've felt. Looking back now, it wasn't that great of a relationship.
As far as an update on what Brandon is doing, I haven't talked to him since my 21st birthday, drunk... And the last update that I got from my previous room mates at Tigerfest is he's dating a 19 year old.
I didn't think I would regret. I don't regret that he was my first, I don't regret the relationship... I regret the fact that I gave him way to much of myself and not to have it in return. I regret for not being treated the way I treated him.
I regret for being me, for being so naive at the time. That goes for Sober (Dave) as well.
I'm in no way shape or form a person the should be trusted with a relationship, I only haggle with myself and just make everything worse... but I do give good advice, but never take my own.
It's just strange... I never thought I'd be in this moment right now. Granted there is never ever going to be a way to predict, but I would like to know where I'm going.
Like any immortal being would be nice enough to do that for me.
Here is an Old entry, one from when I was 18. Dear god, I was a little brat.
OU my dad is going to kill me because I dyed my hair!!LOLZ!!!
I'm happy for the word choices that I use now. That and I have paragraphs! Pardon the over use of.......
That was three years ago. Only three. Dying the hair color still hasn't changed, I plan on doing it again. The thought of a tattoo has been in my mind for so long that I'm going for it. As soon as I get the design I want. Where I want it and want I want is ever changing.
So, in four summers. I have accomplished a lot. Gone through, 6 room mates, two guys, and a swimming career to create art... I've done a lot.
To think at the start of August will be my fourth year here at Towson. Just because it's my fourth year doesn't mean it's going to end. Nope, I still have two more years.
I wonder what this year will bring me.
Tomorrow I get to meet my room mates, move in, and fire kilns as well.
So we shall see what is in store for me. I wish I knew.
chez